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Transformation Through Tantric Yoga
The thing about drugs is you don’t really realise you have messed up until it’s too late. It starts with a pill on the occasional Saturday night, and before you know it you’re going through half your wages, mixing potentially lethal cocktails in constant pursuit of the perfect high, alienating yourself from virtually everyone you know, and making yourself ill (either physically or mentally or both).
In my case, I actually nearly killed myself; and even after I recovered, I was back out partying again, chasing the dream of feeling safe and happy inside my own skin. It did not cross my mind that there might be a safer, non-chemical route to happiness; and I did not go looking for such a route until things got so messy with the drugs I had no choice but to acknowledge that the drugs were no longer working, that they were actually causing me harm.
In October 2008 I went to Dhanakosa (a Buddhist meditation retreat centre in Scotland) to do a week of yoga and meditation. My yoga teacher on that retreat, *Angelika Grohman, was an inspiration. She made me see the true power of yoga, as a tool of transformation. Previously, I had only thought of it as a method of staying fit and flexible. I did not consider that there might be more to it than that.
Over that week I had my eyes, my mind and my heart opened. Hearing Angelika’s personal story of her journey from misery and isolation to joy and purpose through yoga filled me with the hope that I too might be able to make such a transformative journey.
My journey started quite hesitantly, with me having to force myself to do 20 minutes of yoga every morning, but over the following year – especially during a six month trip to India – my enthusiasm for yoga grew.
In 2010, after having tried many different styles of yoga, I discovered Agama Yoga – a tantric yoga school with branches in India & Thailand. In Dharamsala, India I did Agama’s first month intensive course and was introduced to the theory and philosophy of tantric yoga, as well as to a more meditative approach to asana practice.
I had numerous mini epiphanies during that month, especially regarding yamas and niyamas; realising that if I wanted to change my life I would need to stretch more than just my body. Especially impressed by the lecture on Ahimsa and the showing of the documentary, “Earthlings” I took a vow and became a vegetarian. After being introduced to the Agama version of Uddiyana Banda I became determined that my then current attempt at quitting cigarettes would be my last.
I was so impressed with my introduction to Agama yoga I decided to go to Thailand and continue my studies at their main headquarters on Ko Pha Ngan. I stayed there for four months in 2010, and after a trip home to Scotland, I returned in 2011 and studied for a further six months. During that time I became acquainted with some of the more profound and esoteric tantric yoga teachings and deepened my personal practice.
On the surface, there are observable changes in me – for instance, as well as becoming a vegetarian and non-smoker I no longer take drugs or drink alcohol – but it is, I believe, the less tangible changes that matter most, such as my ongoing efforts to observe all the yamas and niyamas.
When I look back upon my old self, from only three years ago, I cannot believe the extent of the changes in me. I have gone from being a drug-addled mess to being centred, balanced and focussed. It is a transformation my old self could not possibly have imagined.
What I have received through yoga I should like to share with others. This is the reason I want to become a yoga teacher. There are so many people out there looking for an answer, looking for a way to transform their lives. Many of them take the wrong road, just as I did, and are seduced by the initial glitter and glamour of drug-taking. I believe, as an ex-user, I would be able to reach these people and help them as they make the journey to rehabilitation. It is my experience that the yogic teachings, philosophy and practices that Agama Yoga offer are especially helpful on that journey. I believe these techniques would also be beneficial for people suffering from stress, anxiety and depression and could help prevent them from sinking into a spiral of drug or alcohol abuse. It is my intention that once I have qualified as a yoga teacher and earned my stripes I will return to Scotland and dedicate myself to helping people find a holistic approach to solving their problems through yoga.
*I have been taught yoga by very many fine yoga teachers over the last three years and it is all but impossible to choose a favourite, but if I had not had the good fortune to be taught by Angelika Grohman I might never have been inspired to take the journey down this amazing path; and for that reason alone I would choose her.
2012 Yoga Scholarship Essay
By: Dee Sunshine
If you liked this article and want them to win a free yoga teacher training, then make sure to vote for him by leaving a comment (scroll all the way to the bottom), or sharing this article on Facebook or Twitter.
Are you interested in becoming a yoga teacher? Then visit our Yoga School Directory to find the right teacher training. Or, visit our Yoga Retreats page to explore beautiful yoga vacations from around the world.
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I loved reading your amazing story Dee!! I wish you the best of luck in receiving the scholarship, you will be inspiration to many people as an agama yoga teacher
You have already been inspiring many people by your amazing transformation and dedication!!
All the best
Sissel
The yogic path is about transformation. To transform from addictive behaviours, to inner calm and joy is to really experience yoga. There is a great need in Scotland for teachers, like Dee, to show how spiritual and emotional problems can be solved through spiritual practise. I hope the opportunity is given to Dee to do this Teacher Training course and to inspire the Scottish people. Good luck Dee
I’ll certainly vote for Dee Sunshine, he has achieved something truly great and is an inspitation to those who can identify with what he is saying here. I would hope that when he becomes a teacher that he will travel to Ireland and introduce us here to his ideas and practices of this holistic approach to solving problems through yoga… i’ve a few potential clients lining up allready. good luck Dee!
Beautiful brother, i’m with you.
Love.
this entitles me to one free yoga class taught by dee sunshine
Well done to You Dee, Your enthusiasm and drive has been an inspiration to me. I hope You get the opportunity to use Your knowledge and experience to help others transform themselves, their lives, and the lives of those that love them.
Wow Dee! I had no idea of the journey that you have been on since I met you at the Dhanakosa in 2008. Seems so long ago now. Angelika was an inspiration and you were memorable!
I enjoyed reading your reasons for going on to teach yoga. It was an inspirational read and I admire your tenacity in your pursuit of personal change.
I hope to come to one of your classes when you are qualified. Keep me updated.
Love from your Dhanakosa friend
Adelaide
x
I am very impressed that Dee has changed his life around so significantly and is so intent on sharing his knowledge and new-found awareness with others.
This man is truly an inspiration to us all and certainly deserves this scholarship!
DGS x
After having read the article I´m totally convinced Dee is the best candidate for the scholarhip.As a yoga teacher , a person like him, can really help people transform their lives.
Dee you are an inspiration and I hope you get the scholarship.
Andre
An amazing and inspiring story. His motivation is simple, to be better able to benefit other living beings.. I’m not sure totally how this works, but after reading this story, Dee has my vote.
Good luck Dee.
I love seeing and hearing how you are changing your life Dee and feel inspired by your determination to deepen the effects of that by sharing and contributing to others’ change and well-being.
It is for those reasons that you have my vote and I wish you well to win a yoga teacher training scholarship!
What a wonderful inspiration Dee has become. The journey that he has been through is a very common one, people lost in a vicious cycle of self harm and in their often misplaced and misaligned points of view about the world. To manage to drag yourself off the floor and find focus, understanding and peace is a wonderful achievement, and through yoga Dee has done this.
Upmost respect to the man, and I wish him nothing but success on the path that he has chosen to follow.
Having met and done yoga with Dee in Thailand I sincerely hope that he will get the free yoga teacher education. His development and transformation is an inspiration to many and with a yoga trainer certificate he can have an even greater impact on many more that he will meet, teach and train with over the coming years.
dee is a very warm and kind hearted person who would make an amazing teacher pls help him realise his potential thanks …colin
Such a journey you have taken and I know you are able to inspire others from your experiences. Go Dee!
well done dee!!! that story sounds familia to me
om namah sivaya!!!!
dee is one of the great artists and great human beings of our age and there is much wisdom in this essay…
+1 for Mr. Sunshine!
Great piece brother. With your life experience, personal volition, and higher drive for transformation, I am positive you would be a fantastic teacher.
Dee would make a great yoga-teacher!
GO Dee, you have my support, go become an amazing yoga teacher!
Dedicated yourself to inspiring the people around you – this is something Dee’s done for a long time through his music, his art, and especially through his writing. (One particular recent photo series based on the travels of a pink ukelele as a vehicle for human connection was unbelievably moving, and went viral here in my mountain town in the Pacific Northwest!) In some ways, Dee describes his journey and awakening as something recent. The way I see it, inspiring people has been something he’s tried to do all along. He’s just found a really powerful vehicle within which to do – sharing yoga as a tool for transformation with others. Please consider this a wildly enthusiastic vote!
Good luck Dee.. You’ll make an amazing teacher x x
I met Dee Sunshine in Tiruvannamalai, where he still was a heavy chain-smoker… : ) The dedication to do yoga was present already then. He was up early, I wasn’t! Later he went to do Agama yoga, and by following his trails’n tracks (Facebook & mails), it amazes me how much a person can change “bad” habits and “everything” in such a short time. A friend (Anita) told me he was glowing!! But above all I see his 100% dedication – and that is very inspiring indeed! and I’m sure Dee will be a great store-house of knowledge and inspiration for his future students. Surely!! Love, Hema
Thanks so much for sharing your story Dee, its inspiring to see a person find their path. I think you will be a great teacher, you have my vote!
I vote for Dee for scholarship!
An amazing transformation Dee. I hope you get awarded the scholarship. Blessings. Deb
good luck!
Go Dee…I vote for you!
Dee, you definitely have my vote!
Wow. I knew Dee a very long time ago at the start of his search and am very humbled to read his story. I am profoundly glad he has found his place and purpose in this life and am grateful to be able to add my vote.
The levels of alcohol and drug abuse in Scotland are shameful and the recovery options for those who are addicted are pitifully few. I love that you want to pass your gift on. Roll on your return to Scotland
Thanks for reaching out, exposing your human vulnerability by describing your journey towards your own healing, and your ultimate wish to use this for the greater good. Isn’t that what a life well lived is all about ? Yoga therapy is the way to go – addictions and pharmaceuticals are not the only way to get us out of the thinking mind , and this way gives the mind clarity rather than confusion by focussing on the body. I totally support your application for a scholarship , and look forward to coming along to one of your classes in Scotland !!
Good luck Mr Sunshine xxx
i can relate to Dee’s story and look forward to attending Dee’s classes.
Beautiful, Dee. I can relate to much of your chaotic search for answers. I hope this reply serves as a vote for scholarship because your experience and results can literally save lives.
Here’s to your scholarship! Cheers!
Love and Light Dee! xo
beautifully summed up Dee, you put into words a journey that many of us have experienced. Good luck & I hope you get the scholarship!
Beautiful Dee. So glad that yoga is what is leading you. You absolutely deserve that scholarship.
You so deserve this! Keeping my fingers crossed for you. xxx
A story with heart my man, good to see you have found your path and I wish you profoundly good luck in travelling it.
“It matters not what a man does, only that he does it compleatly with all his being”
Be good to see you sometime brother,
Roy.
Dee, that is a great story!!! I kind’o envy you for your courage to follow what feels right for you. You deserve it. Do some more good for the world!
good luck dee
All the best Dee, I hope it comes together for you.
Dee-lighted to give a one up for you my friend..
Go for it Dee, I so hope you get the scholarship. You will be an inspiration for many of us out there. Best of luck!
Andrea
I think Dee deserves this yoga training place because he has dedicated the past three years to transforming himself into a physically and mentally healthy and happy person who now wants to help make other people healthy and happy too.
Brilliant xxxxx
i fully support Dee !
Very inspiring Dee, I am sure your legacy will be one that you help many people transform…
I’m continually amazed at the wonders of yoga! Best of luck Dee!
Illusory people run around in an illusory burning (crack) house. Save the world my holographic brother, blessings.
Great Dee! Really inspiring x
Good luck in the future
Wow Dee, I’m really impressed. I wish I’d get the chance to study yoga with you as my teacher. And I’m curious to hear about the particularities of Agama Yoga! I don’t know it. I’m determined to really start yoga sometime soon. I’ve given it a couple tries, and I always liked it a lot, but somehow I was never able to follow a class regularily due to my ever changing daily routine.
All the best!!
Best of luck, Dee…and just think….if you have transformed this much in 3 years….where will you be in another 3? Amazing
you have my vote.
Love it! Good luck! Hugs
HI Dee!
Thanks also for sending emails about yoru journeys ,i am reading them all .ALl love from Mahaganga -Natalia,God Bless
Of course,want you to win,as you deserve your dreams!I am sorry i am no on facebook anymore or twitter otherwise i would do the same there…I am wishing you all the best and often remember us sitting in Ramana ashram and you wanting to leave
Dee love. Your heart and intention are lights. I raise an etheric glass of the good golden stuff to you winning the scholarship
<3 Much love be you.
Dear Dee, the very best of luck to you and I fully support you on this amazing undertaking. Everything’s crossed…..like eagle pose! xx
I know that if anyone deserves this scholarship it is you. YOu have such a light, and a hunger to seek knowledge that I know that you will imbue your students with your sweet passion. I hope you win, you could do so much with this opportunity
Dee being a yoga teacher is another step for a better world
Mr Sunshine, you brought light into my life every day that I spent with you at Agama Yoga last year. I am so happy to hear that you will be guiding others along this path next year as a yoga teacher. I look forward to calling you my teacher some day soon. Love on.
what an inspiration!
way 2 go!
Good luck with the scholarship
Dee is a very talented artist and poet. He is one of the few who is truly living the spiritual life. Many of us have had the pleasure of following his physical and mental journey through Asia and other parts of the world as he has shared his experiences on FB. He has studied with the masters in their spiritual homes and he has much to teach all of us.
Best of luck with your teacher training!
My vote is for Dee!
Good luck Dee- you deserve it!
inspiring story.
good luck Dee !
Great work Dee, I’m really heatened by your journey to recovery – you have my vote.
Good luck Dee! x
GO Dee! Give us a shout once you’re done and I’ll come find your classes.
Dee loved reading your story. If there is anyone that deserves a scholarship in yoga its you, wishing you all the best,
Jonathan
Hey Dee,
So beautiful to read about your journey, especially as where I met you was at that very Dhanakosa retreat. I hope you get this chance to become a teacher, I have a feeling you’d be bloody good at it.
Hello, Sir. I am also in this scholarship voting. And as much as I want to win. I hope you become a teacher, yourself ! So I voted for you. And I hope you continue to inspire. I would like to “friend” you on fb. I am at http://www.facebook.com/katiiieanne
Amazing.. blessings on your yoga journey!!
Dee – you inspired me when we met in Koh Phangan last year and through facebook continue to do so. Love, light and scolarships should absolutely come your way!!
Jeni
xx
good luck dee! nothing but love for you man! (but im voting for kirsty too)
Good Luck Dee!
I think Dee would make an amazing teacher! He is the one who helped do the shoulder stand, something no one else could make me do.:)
Hope you win, Dee!:)
Dear Dee, we met in Rishikesh quite a while ago but you are always in my heart. Wishing you a good luch and always be one with your heart. It will take you exactly where you should be…believe in you. love, FiFi.
Your commitment to self development is inspirational. Good luck my friend.
Hope you will get Scholaship,Good Luck
Good Luck,Dee
Hey Dee, long time! Reading the great paths you ve been through and are going through soooo excited me ! Surrender! >w< love xxx
all the best for you dee !!! love monika
good luck to you, you get my vote
Yay Dee, big psychic hugs! xxxccccc
Hope we meet again in TTC next year, dear dee~ ^________^ xxxooo
Proud of you. HUGS
Beautiful story! Best of luck to you on your path of light, dear brother!
Dee you deserve it, go pure, go yoga! Love Love Love xxxx
Dee, you are dedicated and inspirational. You will be an amazing yoga instructor. Please keep it up and may you have all the good things that you want manifest in your life. All the best to you!
All the best to you Dee!
Dee,
Your amazing,
Love
JOJO
All the best in your yoga Dee
You can’t change what you’ve already done but you can change what happens next.Your words were written with such a depth of honesty i had to blink back tears of emotion(and a few escaped)You inspire by all that you do,this scholarship was made for you.Namaste.xxx
Great story Dee, I am with you! You have done great transformation. Hope to see you sometimes. Love x Agy
It’s lovely to read Dee’s article about his battle with drugs and his realization that drugs are a false spiritual path. i was brought up in the 1960′s and i am sad to see that drugs are even a greater part of young people’s lives now more than ever before. So many are looking for quick fixes to their fears and unhappiness. Good luck Dee and i hope you get your scholarship. Rod
Good luck.
Lovely story, good luck!
Go Dee! There is no doubt in my mind that you will definitely inspire others to transform themselves. Wishing you all the best in the world with your yoga journey and new career… Love Lorraine Xx
best of luck!!!!!! i am waitng to hear good news i believe in u (: love and alots of light my dear!!!!!!!!!!
I am running against you. Ha! But love that your mom wrote on the yoga teacher training page… couldn’t help but show my support. Go Dee!!
your an inspiration brother, the tranformation in you radiates out.
peaceji x
I think that through your personal experience of suffering, and the mental and physical serenity you have acquired through yoga studies, you will be the perfect subject to train as a yoga teacher.
All the best, Dee, very good luck!
Hi Dee,
its been quite a journey..a lovely riece of writing too! I hope all of your hard work leads you to where you want and need to be.
Good luck, amnd lots of love, Jamesx
Dee is a genuine soul who can make a difference in this world …May she to go from strength to strength in divine bliss
In Love & Joy
Michael Levy. Professional Optimist
A very inspiring essay Dee. You get my vote.
Hi Dee
It sounds like an amazing road to be travelling
with love x
Hey Dee, an inspiring story indeed! You get my vote. Good luck!
Good Luck Dee!
Keep up the good work and enjoy the journey,
Peace and Love,
Helen x
Dee deserves a place to go and study and qualify to become a yoga teacher.He has lived his life and,like everyone of us made some wrong life choices along the way.Myself included.Because of this and not in spite of this Dee will be in a very powerful and priviledged place to help teach others how to transform their lives to a better and more harmonious place.He gets my vote.
hello i’m ailidh morrison’s daughter and i don’t know you but if that’s what you want to do, here’s my vote!
Hi Dee, wonderful story, and I think many of us can relate to it and to the way that yoga has transformed more than our bodies. Best wishes with this!
go for it dee and best of luck
Hi Dee, best wishes for the scholarship – you get my vote!
And when you return to set up in Scotland – give me a shout – setting up social enterprises is my gig so if you need anything…..
best
Ishy
xx
lovely writing, inspiring story…good luck dee!
Dee, I am right behind you and think you would make a wonderful yoga teacher especially since Ive already experienced a home class from you when youwere back home in Scotland briefly this year and I was really impressed. Definitely get my vote!
Hi Dee, I wish you all the very best with this, I think you will get lots and lots of votes, you certainly deserve to!!
All success Dee in whatever you go for.
Here’s my vote to you!
A very voteworthy cause.
Dee has undergone such an inspiring journey which I am sure at times was not easy. It would be a loss to many people that he in turn would be able to inspire if he cannot train as a teacher. He gets my vote!
All the best Dee! XXX Sasha
An inspirational story. All the best to you on your journey, you get my vote!
One thing I love about Agama is the great diversity of people finding it on their personal paths to self realization and peace and you are a beautiful part of this. I hope you get the scholarship.
Good luck x
Good luck with your course – I’m sure you’ll have enough votes Evelyn x
aw the best!
Dee hello, you write a good essay. I wish you all the best in this journey. I could use some of your new found inspiration. Maybe a personal session next time you’re over. All the best. Rick
Excellent. you got my vote; goodluck.
Wahoo!!!…go for it! Much Metta.
Go Dee!
We really hope you get this schoolarship. Your story will definitely inspire your future students!!
Morgan & Ariadna
Dearest Dee
this is so heart felt….i wish you every success.
my path as yoga teacher has helped transform and direct my life towards the One, there are many ways, but i see your heart has set its course…x
making conscious changes in ones life is challenging and the dedication to share this through teaching is admirable and beautiful. My vote and blessings to you Dee.
Very inspirational, you’ve got my vote- good luck!
Such an incredible transformation. I can see you would be an amazing teacher, I really hope you get it. You speak & write with so much depth, from your heart. I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. Xxx
Wishing you all the very best, Dee! <3
Soulful, authentic and inspirational. I wish you luck, Dee!
Paint the Sunshine with your Consciousness
Good luck Dee! If you excel at this the way you do in the arts, then you will be one of the best.
Thanks Dee. I hope you gain this scholarship and are able to continue and help others
thank you…wonderful…good luck….
Good luck Dee!! Your journey is an inspiration
You are needed Dee, spread your Light & Love to those looking for a way out of misery. Love & Blessings to you for your teaching path xoxo
Good luck with training! Namaste.
Very inspiring!
good luck to you Dee
I am going through those changes of yours as we speak, I wish you peace and respect for you on the way and for being!
Namasté
Brian aka Homier Pip Doh
Dee its so great to hear that your so clear and inspired om a path of care and healing. I hope to.take a class from you one day! X
You have my vote Dee! I never knew all of your personal story when we met at Agama last year, but it seems as though you have really found your path. Good luck to you! Perhaps I will see you at Agama sometime soon
. xx
Good luck!
Bravo, Dee, inspiration seems to have permeated you.. I do very much agree that your, say, “hands-on” experience on substances’ abuse is now a most precious tool to unravel some majestic mysteries within one’s self – mysteries that in fact are there to be looked at, with just the appropriate mindset. Keep on, I wish you well for your scholarship..
Consider yourself voted for
Namaste Dee!
Loved your story. Really hoping you get the scholarship. Good luck. xxx
You have my vote!
Best wishes x
Dee! Well said
I met you in Thailand and was so impressed with your serenity! Notebook filled with different yoga schedule for every day, always had the time to be present and smile for people. Sometimes people need to go down, way down, before they can go up… Then they rise way up knowing that anything is possible! I believe you would be a healthy teacher for yourself and others, the more yogi’s the better this world will be, PEACE LOVE EVOLUTION, pass it on, love and light, annie ps THIS IS MY VOTE 
Dear Dee! It’s an amazing story and i wish i could be so lucky to have you in Scotland and have some inspiration from you. I believe you are a great teacher as you are a wonderful and positive energy person! have my vote for sure
Best of luck Dee !
All the best to you, Dee. Looking forward to you giving a workshop one day here in the west of Ireland, please…Shanti
Sunshine always. You get my vote just fine. X